Seattle Press
Community Log & News Digest
Latter Day 'Greetings'
Greetings from the President of the United States!

Your friends and neighbors have selected you to help make America great again by participating in an innovative program in international relations.

Along with other selected citizens, you will receive an all-expense paid trip from a designated US point of departure to Russia, where you will be interrogated by friendly officials of the State Security Service (AKA KGB, GRU, or whatever replacement euphemistic acronym they may choose).

Prepare now! You will be notified when to arrive at the point of departure (you will be responsible for costs of travel within the US). Bring a toothbrush and several changes of underwear.

John Bolton, Program Manager and Chief Apologist

Note to trumpeteers and the very young: This message is in the style of WWII draft notices. The difference is that none who are drafted will be bolstered by millions of volunteers. Oh, and for trumpeteers only: This is satire.

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