Moved by Pres. Trump's performance in Helsinki, the Alaska Legislature has reportedly appointed a panel to consider requiring the study of Russian in the state's public schools.
No one in the legislature or the state Republican party has confirmed or denied that the Trump government may soon return Alaska to Russia as part of a strategic global plan so clever that no one can figure it out.
The idea of a withdrawal of the US was prompted by a statement by Pres. Trump in 2016, when he asserted "Seward's Folly, as I call, it many people called it that at the time, I call it that now, as do many other people, as I learned at the Wharton School while Hillary was in Benghazi scheming to hide her emails, was a bad deal, a very bad deal, one of the worst deals ever for America, many people opposed it, $720 million down the drain, sad" to a campaign crowd. (The actual amount paid by the US was $7.2 million, and US Treasury revenue from Alaska in 2015 was $5,717.6 billion.)
He continued "..." (omitted for brevity and the sensibilities of thinking people everywhere).
One ranking member of the state senate, who asked not to be identified, stated the reasoning this way: "The meeting made it pretty clear that accommodating Russian political objectives will become an ever more important aspect of US foreign policy, As we've learned from the case of other states, when Trump grabs his ankles in the parlor, citizens should be waiting in the bedroom with a smile."
Some support for the addition of Russian to school curricula has previously been attributed fo descendants of pre-1863 Russian settlers in the vast territory.
"I'm sick and tired of people mispronouncing my name," said Rep. Nikolas Rapemenow, referring to the correct pronunciation Ra-pem-me-noff of the original Cyrillic spelling,
The Trump family has strong roots in the region. Pres. Trump's grandfather was a well known bordello operator there during the Gold Rush era (graphic).
We'll have community reaction from other parts of the state in a forthcoming edition.